LOVE > WORRY

Dr. Dennis Atwood

So how’s that “new year’s resolution” thing working out for you? I’ve never been a big fan of this once-a-year ritual. I guess it’s the whole “turning over a new leaf” syndrome that bugs me most. People resolve to do things better or differently all the while knowing that it lasts about as long as those after Christmas sales. So why go through the motions of kidding yourself once a year? If you’re really serious about change or a deeper commitment toward something or someone then why not follow-through when no one is looking or paying attention? This has been my basic approach when it comes to New Year’s resolutions… until this year.

December 14, 2012, changed something in me—as it did many people across our country. Twenty-six innocent victims in Newtown, Connecticut. Children. Teachers. Why on earth? How could this evil happen? In the days that followed people plastered Facebook, Twitter, and the “letter to the editor” department with anger, sharp words, extremism, shock, horror, dumb ideas, and some genuine human compassion. You’ve heard it said: “The problem is guns! No, the problem is people! No, the problem is government! The real problem is culture! God has been kicked out of our schools! There are already too many laws!”

Actually, the problem… is me. Amidst all the pontificating and scrambling for easy solutions to large complex issues, the one thing I have some measure of control over is… me. Aside from the terrible sadness for those grieving families and the feelings of anger at the evil that took away precious lives, what later hit me like a ton of bricks is the stark realization that I don’t love enough and I worry too much. It’s not that I don’t love people (after all it is in my job description) or that I sit around worrying about stuff all the time (just some of the time). It’s more about being fully present in each moment doing what God put me here to do—to love not worry.

One of the outcomes of that tragic day in December is the sobering reality that life is too fragile and sacred to waste on hate, apathy, indifference and worry. There will be many fairly intelligent people debating and wrangling over what to do in order to make public spaces safer in the coming weeks and months. We should pray that tangible steps can be agreed upon in a sensible manner that will help make our schools and communities safer places in which to learn and live. We should all be willing to support steps for the common good even if I don’t personally agree with every detail. But let’s not kid ourselves. No amount of extreme legislation or extreme freedom will solve all our societal ills. It is ultimately and personally a matter of the heart.

Therefore, I have resolved… to love more and worry less. It will be hard to measure whether I’m actually being successful at it or not. There will be old tendencies to break when life gets too busy, when things go wrong, and when unplanned expenses arise. But by the grace of God I will choose to embrace each new day spending more time loving my family and less time worrying about things over which I have no control.

Perhaps the stickiest part will come when I venture out to love those beyond my immediate circle. God’s love does that. Christ calls us to love those whom we hold close and those whom we hold at arm’s length. Scripture says that love is patient and kind; it’s not flashy or arrogant, rude or selfish. It’s even greater than faith and hope. (1 Corinthians 13)

God’s love is ultimately the most powerful and potent force in the universe and it’s available to everyone. My task is to let it begin in me. That’s how we bring God’s kingdom on earth… one person at a time. So if your “new year’s resolution” isn’t working out so well may I suggest an alternative? Love more… worry less. This will be my daily mantra in 2013.

Dennis Atwood is the pastor of FBC Mount Olive. This article originally appeared on his blog.

The Demise of Tito the Snowman

by Rev. Laura Barclay

Every year, it seems, my niece teaches me a little something about the Christmas season by reminding me what it’s like to see the world through a child’s eyes. This year, perhaps one of the most comical and poignant moments came the day after Téa had built her first snowman, reaching a noble 1 and ½ feet tall, and declared proudly to us all that his name was Tito.

  

The next day brought the bright morning sun which reduced Tito to a pile of mush. I came down the steps and found Téa sitting by herself with huge tears falling silently down her face, clutching something close to her chest, and looking out the window at Tito’s remains.

“What’s wrong?” I asked

“It’s Tito. He went away.” She looked up at me with big, sad eyes.

“Well, he will come and play with you the next time it snows. But it’s okay to be sad. It’s sad when something we care about goes away. What do you have in your hand?”

She showed me a picture of her on a "pirate" ship with her Mommy, Daddy, Nana and Pa. 

“Does remembering a really great moment help when you are sad?”

“Yes. I had fun because I was with family and we sang pirate songs!” She looked momentarily upbeat before remembering Tito’s demise.

“It’s ok to be sad. And we need to really enjoy when we are happy and take a picture with our minds so that we can think of it again when we are sad to bring us comfort. Also, building a snowman is one of the best things about winter. Being at the beach on a pirate ship with family is one of the best things about summer. The great thing is that we know those times will come again, and we have the opportunity to create new happy memories.”

Téa nodded, gave me a hug, and said she needed to think about it for a while and wanted to be alone. Ten minutes later, she had processed it and was ready to create a new memory, bounding into the kitchen to help Mommy cook breakfast. 

This moment stuck out in the holiday season as a primer to a young one about grief and loss, which so many of us deal with during the holidays. I thought of it as a trial run and a way to dissect my own feelings about loss on an elementary level. I realized that in teaching a child, you always learn something yourself. In going back to the basics, we can get to the heart of human processes and thoughts on the most visceral level and reexamine our own lives through the wonder of a child’s eyes.

Listening is Vital to Communication

By Dr. Mark T. White


“He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.” –Proverbs 18:13

Many of us have had years of training in communication skills such as writing, reading, and speaking. However, we probably have not experienced much training in what many believe is the most important facet of communication, listening.

The art of listening may not be lost, but is surely seems difficult to find. Many of us, instead of really listening as someone speaks to us, are mentally framing our response, getting ready to jump in as soon as the speaker takes a breath.

Consequently, we are really listening more to our own thoughts than to the person who is speaking. “I wish he/she would hurry up and take a breath so I can tell them what is really important.” In fact, for many of us, our listening habits are so poor we even have difficulty hearing God speak.

We have been taught that prayer is communication with God. Communication suggests both transmission and reception. Our transmission of concern to the Creator is usually done fairly well. We accept by faith that God is receiving our transmissions. But what about God’s transmission to us? How well do we receive it? Is it possible to miss God’s voice because we are too busy with our own thoughts, rather than concentrating on our Creator’s?

God’s people must understand that the Almighty is always seeking to communicate with us. However, if we are listening only for the answer we want, it is possible we will miss sensing God pointing us in another direction.

Try including the reading of the Word of God in your prayer life. It is amazing what you can hear when you listen to God’s word. It is even more amazing if you wait to hear from God before answering.

Mark White is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Clayton, NC. This article originally appeared in their church newsletter, The Outlook.

Fit to Serve

Dr. E. Steven Ayers

The past several months I have read several disturbing reports about the general health of the populace. Now, I have a pretty good habit of cherry picking reports and studies. I particularly liked the study that infers that 4 cups of coffee a day for adult males may reduce diabetic risk by 50%. Now that’s what I call a really good study. Particularly impressive in my book are any studies that suggest chocolate is a good thing. And of course, we certainly can appreciate even more how Jesus was way ahead of the health curve by making 280 gallons of water into wine. But for all the studies to which I have an affinity, there are too many others that suggest that there is a crisis upon us. Life expectancy for the least educated has declined. Obesity and diabetes have become a national epidemic.

Why should these matters concern us as Christians? I think I can better phrase that by asking, how can these matters not concern us as Christians. We serve and proclaim the Great Physician. And John shares these words of Jesus before Jesus says he is the Good Shepherd, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10b NRSV)

The recent push to improve our financial condition is a part of a more encompassing emphasis that we need to be “Fit for Life, fit to serve.” We need to be fit in our spiritual, physical, and economic health. The faith demands our all: our body, mind, and spirit. What can make us more fit? What can we give up? And what can we begin? There is something we can all do to have a healthier lifestyle for our world and ourselves. It is a matter of faith and practice. God calls us to wholeness. In that calling we will discover afresh and anew our interconnectedness.

Steve Ayers is the pastor of McGill Baptist Church in Concord, NC. This article originally appeared in their church newsletter, The Way.

What is “Fresh Expressions”?

by Rev. Dr. Larry Hovis

On February 1, 2012, at FBC Greensboro, CBF of North Carolina (in partnership with CBF National, Center for Congregational Health, and Virginia Baptist Mission Board) will host a Fresh Expressions Vision Day. But what is “Fresh Expressions”? Something you spray on your body or in your bathroom?

Actually, Fresh Expressions is a movement of the Holy Spirit that began in the Church of England, has spread throughout other denominations in the United Kingdom, and has now made it to the U.S.  According to freshexpressions.org.uk,

“A fresh expression is a form of church for our changing culture, established primarily for the benefit of people who are not yet members of any church.

• ·         It will come into being through principles of listening, service, contextual mission and making disciples.
• ·         It will have the potential to become a mature expression of church shaped by the gospel and the enduring marks of the church and for its cultural context.”

Fresh Expressions is not a program or a marketing tool to get more people to attend Sunday morning worship services or a strategy to increase contributions. “While all fresh expressions are different,” says freshexpressionsus.org, “there are some guiding principles that tie them all together. Fresh expressions are:

• ·         Missional – serving those not currently served by any church;
• ·         Incarnational – listening to people and entering their culture;
• ·         Discipling – helping people enter more fully into the life of Christ;
• ·         Ecclesial – forming church.”

Fresh expressions of church, ideally, are launched by or exist in partnership with, “inherited” churches. Together, they form what Anglican Archbishop Rowan Williams calls a “mixed economy”, existing side-by-side, enriching one another in mutually supportive ways.

Fresh expressions require little or no budget. Instead, they will demand that we approach our communities with:

• ·         Open eyes – to see people in our community that need Jesus but to whom we may have been blind
• ·         Open hearts – to make space and time in our busy lives to cultivate relationships with them

I believe fresh expressions may be a significant avenue through which the churches of our fellowship more faithfully and effectively reach people in our community with the Good News of Jesus, people that may never enter our buildings. In doing so, these fresh expressions may, in ways we can’t now imagine, serve to renew and revive the congregations historic congregations we love so much.

Interested in learning more about this movement, and how you and your church might join in? Visit http://www.cbfnc.org/Events/UpcomingEvents/FreshExpressions.aspx for more information.  Then join us on February 1, 2013 at FBC Greensboro.

Larry Hovis is the Executive Coordinator for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of North Carolina.